Not a bike in the park.

I don't think I was supposed to ride my bike today. This is annoying, because I just got it back in operational condition again.

Today's miscues started at the crossing of Santa Rosa and Highland. Gearshifts are normally associated with an increase in acceleration; instead the pedals jammed solidly in place. This was a bit startling for me, and caused considerable angst amongst the drivers waiting to make their right-hand turns.

Having kicked the bike back into motion, I set off towards class. Progress was interrupted again, this time by a bump which succeeded in detaching my rear light and sending it's various components tumbling out into the street. This not being the first time (this month) a hefty bump has caused my favored ride to shed useful parts, I circled back to pick up the pieces. Or rather, I circled back to watch two cement trucks rumble by...

So, yeah. Looks like I'm in the market for a new taillight.

Game Over.

This is the last time I post about school this quarter, largely because there's little left to say. Statistics is statisticaly impossible to pass (this is about as funny as stats jokes get), and I've stopped going to German; the class is a lost cause. Factor in Q/C and Finance, and the final GPA falls somewhere between 1.0-1.5. All I can say at this point is, "oh well, better luck next time..."

The lyrics going through my head as I write this...:

I want to be dependable
I want to be courageous and good
I want to be faithful so that I can be heroic and true
I want to be your friend you can rely on
You can lean on and trust
I want to understand so I can forgive
And be willing to love

I wish I wasn't flesh and blood
I would not be scared
Of bullets meant with me in mind
Then I could be saved

My sweet lord, take care of me for I think I'm done
Kiss my mother on her cheek and lay my burden down
Lay my burden down

Now that we know for sure
They're telling lies
When they say no one gets hurt and therefore nobody dies
You know it's hard to believe anything that you hear
They say the world is round
The world is round
The world is round
The world is round

"Garbage - Metal Heart"

What the... huh?

I need to complain more frequently here. Everytime I put my woes in writting, circumstances stand on their head and everything one once took for granted about reality suddenly is called into question again. As the saying goes, "Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans for the future."

But that's not why I'm writting.

As reported in my last post, I earned 49.5% on my first finance mid-term. A "re-test" given by the teacher to make up for universaly dismal performance on that test earned me a 56%. Now I have news from the teacher that my combined score for the first mid-term is 61%.

There's something to be said for two wrongs making a right, the sum being greater than the parts... but all I'm sayin' is "...I don't get it?" How failing twice earned me a better-than-failing grade works is a mystery, but as Franny would probably tell me: "You have good luck. Very wierd luck, but good all the same."

Shit.

Tests taken so far this quarter:

IT371: 97%
Stats: 58%
German: 68%
BUS342: 49.5%
IT371: 57%
BUS342: 56%

There are two more tests I've yet to get back, but I doubt either of those tests will earn me better than 60%. The last test is particularly disappointing, the entire class did so poorly on the first mid-term that the teacher created a make-up test to improve our scores. I reviewed the old test, the solutions for the old test, examples of old mid-terms, homework assignments, created a study sheet and memorized it so I wouldn't have to spend time reading through it during the test.

And I bumped my score up by 6.5%. To 56%. Yay.

Because when I study my ass for a single specific question I know will be asked and is asked, I still manage to fail the damn test. It's at this point that I have to stop and ask another specific and expected question: what the hell is wrong with me? I've got one B (IT371) and three Fs to my credit, which drops my GPA off to a nice, round, "why even bother?" Oh, and we can't forget the CR/NC 1-unit bowling class. Because it’s so nice to know there’s at least one class I can do well in…

Finals are in three weeks, and the nose-dive only seems to be accelerating. Study, and I fail. Don't study and I fail (only more so). And I'm fresh out of optimism, out of mid-terms I could use to save my grade, out of any idea of how to fix this...

EGS Cool Quote.

"You look in the mirror, but someone else looks back. You remember a life you never had, one that cannot be yours. You are the piece that does not fit, you don't belong in this game. The board has been knocked over, you shall be swept away..."

- Dan Shive, El Goonish Shive.