Today's decision.

Many years ago, I made a choice: avoid being tied down at all costs, prevent anything that might keep me from doing what I wanted when I finally realized what that was. I told myself I was "where I wanted to be," it was my choice to be where I was, even the things I didn't like could be forgiven for the sake of future gain.

What a load of crap that’s turned into. Certainly it's served its purpose in the past, its a surprisingly easy viewpoint to take, it feels nice and selfless. But now I've got my dream life: good friends, a beautiful town, freedom in every way that matters. And I keep putting off making the most of it for the future gain... of what? This is what I want, and I'm ignoring it for no other reason that habit.

I made a ridiculous (for me) purchase today: a 1:48 scale model Eurofighter Typhoon. It was expensive, and I still need to buy paint, brushes, and glue. But I'm 22 and its about damn time I had a hobby, so why not? There's more to life than the bare minimum I've allowed myself in the past. While I'm at it I'm going to need new clothes, new shoes, a new haircut, and a real job...

I've made some big mistakes in the last few months. Not taking summer courses. Not finding stable employment. There's nothing to be done about that now. What I can do is find a new outlook: stop living like I'm waiting for something better.